See, the Times of London quoted McCain campaign sources over the weekend who said that a wedding between Sarah Palin's pregnant daughter, Bristol, and her boyfriend, Levi "Sex on Skates" Johnston, might be a perfect boost for the candidate's flagging poll numbers next month. What the puck??
“It would be fantastic,” a McCain insider told the British paper. “You would have every TV camera there. The entire country would be watching. It would shut down the race for a week.” Apparently this would give Palin, who has been stumbling in interviews lately, a boost by reminding voters of her "homespun authenticity." It may seem a little ridiculous and audacious and, well, tacky, (plus, how did none of our Palin-obsessed newspapers get this story? Sketchy), but that's what critics said about McCain's choice of Palin in the first place. And about his decision to "suspend" his campaign last week.
So we say, start chanting. Free Levi! Free Levi! If not for him, for all of us. Sure, the kid is obviously being railroaded against his will at every turn, and his inclusion in the campaign has clearly turned his life upside down. But that boy still has a good two years of hotness left in him. The McCain campaign can't just introduce him to the nation and then not let us have him. It's undemocratic!!