We’re Sorry, But Palin Baby Daddy Levi Johnston Is Sex on Skates

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Levi Johnston
We sense a rise in the polls. Photo: MySpace

By now we're sure you've heard that Bristol Palin — daughter of Alaska governor (and Republican vice-presidential pick) Sarah Palin — is five months pregnant, out of wedlock, at the age of 17. Since news broke yesterday, the press has been going wild. We'll have a roundup of pundit reactions later, and we're sure that you have your own points of view. What do you guys think? There are so many questions: Did McCain even know the woman he picked to run the Free World in case of an emergency? Isn't Sarah Palin so brave for standing by her daughter? Will this boost or bust McCain's standing with independents?

We have a different question: HOW HOT IS THE BABY DADDY? Eighteen-year-old Levi Johnston is a hockey star and high-school classmate of Bristol Palin. They'd been dating a while, and now with the whole pregnancy thing are planning on getting married. Look at that face. John McCain is definitely winning the cougar vote now, on top of the Jamie-Lynn Spears vote.

Johnston is basically the quintessential example of that guy who you are constantly worried is going to impregnate your daughter (and occasionally does). He's a handsome stud, an athletic star, and he has a criminal record. (For illegally fishing some Alaskan king salmon from Moose Lake out of season. Best crime ever!) He even has a fake blog already (Sample headline: "ABORT! ABORT! ABORT!"). Plus, he described himself as a "fuckin' redneck" on his now-defunct MySpace page, which is basically the truest combination of two words anyone has made during this whole campaign. Dude, Honest Abe himself would want this guy in the Lincoln bedroom.

Related: Levi Johnston and Fat Girlfriend Arrive in St. Paul [NYM]
Levi ‘Sex on Skates’ Johnston Is Already in St. Paul for Republican Convention [NYM]
Defending Sarah Palin: Ross Douthat and Jonah Goldberg on McCain's V.P. Pick as Culture-War Hand Grenade [NYM]
Sarah Palin Jokes: Is McCain's V.P. Making Politics Funny Again? [NYM]
Plus: Reactions to Palin's vetting process are rounded up here.

Disclosures on Palin Raise Questions on Vetting Process [NYT]