Teen mom Jamie Lynn sent a $60 set of five coordinating burp cloths to teen-mom-to-be Bristol Palin. A guy named "Tom Klein" has been crashing Fashion Week events, telling people he's an editor for WWD. (Aren't we all, Tom.) Designer Carlos Miele and his model wife will graciously accept congrats on the baby boy they're expecting at his Bryant Park show next Wednesday. Paris Hilton's team got the Toronto International Film Festival to cut back a documentary about her to just one screening to create more buzz. Rumors that Paula Abdul and new American Idol addition Kara DioGuardi are biting and scratching each other are total crap, says a source, because the two are having a blast hanging out and reminiscing about the old days in the biz. Lady Colin Campbell's "thinly veiled novel" about Lily Safra, whose three superrich husbands all died mysteriously, is finally coming out in the U.S. A new Seth Rogen movie makes a joke about Rosie O'Donnell being in a porno movie.
Comedian Steve Coogan wants to sing a song on his next tour about a word that's probably that offensive four-letter word for vagina that starts with "C." Charlie and the Chocolate Factory author Roald Dahl was a major manslut, bedding countless women (including Clare Booth Luce) during WWII, says a new bio. Brian De Palma canceled a master class in Montreal after having "killer dental surgery." Big-known gay Lance Bass is the source of jealousy and resentment among the female dancers on Dancing With the Stars. Sarah Silverman says her dad taught her swear words as a big joke when she was 3, and look what happened.
David Duchovny will miss a reunion of Fire Island lifeguards, of which he was one, because he's in rehab for his Internet porn addiction. (But another source says he's really there because he cheated on wife Téa Leoni.) Cindy Adams goes off on Sarah Palin, St. Paul, and the whole RNC in a bizarrely bitchy way that is distinctly her own. At the Toronto Film Festival, Liz Smith calls Thandie Newton a "sexy lollipop" (don't like the images that brings up!) and says that Guy Ritchie says that his marriage to Madonna is fine.
Britney Spears will open the MTV Awards but she won't perform, which didn't go over so well last year. Lily Allen and Elton John sniped bitchily at each other onstage while co-hosting the GQ Men of the Year Awards in London. (But John's retort to the drunkenly stupid Allen is pretty brilliant … check it out!) Mackenzie Phillips, fired from One Day at a
Time in 1982 for drug-related reasons, was arrested at LAX for possession of heroin, cocaine, and needles. Here's the trailer for Lindsay Lohan's first major movie in two years.
Usher will perform only for the ladies on his next tour. (Is that gender discrimination, hence illegal?) Every network rejected a commercial for Calvin Klein's Obsession because Eva Mendes bares her nipple in it while writhing on a bedsheet. And, in remarks that will have major implications on the November elections, Simon Doonan said that Sarah Palin looked like "a LensCrafters spokesmodel" and that her daughter Bristol's using her infant brother to hide her unwed belly bump was "a genius accessory."