Today the Manhattan Supreme Court will hear the story of Katherine Kelly, a.k.a. Charlotte Petrovas, Charlotte Martinelli, Mildred Friedman, or, as we've decided to call her, Grandma Awesome. In her 76 years on earth, the five-foot-six, 128-pound old lady has been convicted for theft 37 times, including a time where she attempted to rob a salon wearing clown makeup. She's gotten so good at hiding that not even her friends know where to find her. "She's like a damn gypsy," her former partner, who told the police he once took a picture of her on her bed fanning out a wad of cash, told the Post. "You never know where she's going next." He continued:
"But she's a 76-year-old woman who can hardly walk — her back hurts her so bad," he told The Post. "How could this woman knock off 25 stores — that's impossible. What's her secret? I'd like to know."
Indeed, Grandma Awesome was so elusive that police had to set up an actual sting operation at Fairway on Broadway recently, where she was caught smuggling an undercover police officer's wallet into her bra. "She was a pickpocket terrorist and had to be caught," one of the cops involved in the sting said. Honestly, it's like the Post wrote Robin Williams's screenplay for him.
Old Dame Busted [NYP]