Guy Ritchie is furious with Madonna for letting their son Rocco wear a Yankees T-shirt in New York (because she's supposedly hooking up with A-Rod, who's on the Yankees), and also they were supposedly fighting a lot before the split, with her slapping and poking him and him calling her fat and wrinkled. Sarah Palin didn't recognize Oliver Stone and then, told who he was, said, "Who's he?" when the two went on SNL last weekend. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes supposedly want to buy up more units and move permanently to a building in the East Village. Could it be East 13th's American Felt building, where they're staying now and where we saw paparazzi staked out yesterday morning (who rudely wouldn't tell us who they were staking out)?
Gilbert Gottfried had to do his AFLAC duck sound at noisy Pastis to get the waiter's attention. Yankees pitcher Joba Chamberlain will still be honored by the Police Athletic League even though he just got arrested for drunk driving. Bill O'Reilly will be Jesus in a huge parody of the Last Supper that will hang at the Palm Steakhouse opening next month on Chambers Street, with Hannity and Colmes, Geraldo Rivera, and Ollie North among the disciples.
Tiki Barber, Harvey Weinstein, and New Jersey senator Frank Lautenberg ate at Primola, but not together. Cindy Adams says that John Malkovich told Jeremy Piven that three weeks wasn't enough time to rehearse Speed-the-Plow on Broadway, which Piven's in. That's kind of Underminer of you, John. Also, Cindy seems turned on by Piven. Liz Smith says that Tina Brown says that Lorne Michaels says that Sarah Palin has star quality. Liz also flacks for a Bloomberg third term in a quasi-sycophantic way and says people who don't support the prevention of cruelty to children should be jailed.
William Shatner rants on YouTube about not being invited to his ex–Star Trek alum George Takei's gay wedding. Naomi Campbell's lawyers say it's not true she's pregnant. Kathy Hilton seems to think that Delta Burke is more glamorous than Angelina Jolie. 50 Cent will get to see his son Marquise one weekend a month and one whole month in the summer, in a thing he worked out with the boy's mother, whose Long Island mansion she accused him of ordering arson on in May.
Katt Williams won't be hosting the BET Hip Hop Awards tonight because he walked off the show in a hissy fit with producers, say very clued-in people with gold-plated access. Hilary Duff was horrified at a fund-raiser when Simon Rex performed a song about how he wanted to have sexual interaction with her. Lindsay Lohan will be on four episodes of Ugly Betty instead of six, because she didn't get along with America Ferrera, who apparently pulled down Lindsay's pants when she had no panties on, prompting a friend of Lindsay to say: "Bull[bleep], Lindsay wears underwear all the time now." That's progress!