Madonna Divorce ‘Shocker’!

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Aren't you just so excited? Photo: Getty Images

Ugh, why do celebrities always prove us right? It seems like in real life, you can never really tell what's going on in other people's private lives. Marriages that seem secure surprise you by splitting up suddenly, and couples who appear to have no chance are the ones who really make it, etc., etc., etc. But with celebrity couples, everything that you think is probably happening always turns out to actually be happening. Brad, Angelina, Jen, Lindsay, Sam — there is never any mystery even though they lied, hid, or avoided talking about what they were up to.

So it is with Madonna and Guy Ritchie. For the past year, there were reports that the married couple (who raise three children together) were splitting. Then, this summer, amid the flurry of buzz over Madonna's late-night friendship with Alex Rodriguez, it was reported that their marriage was essentially over but that the two would wait until her "Sticky and Sweet" tour was sold out. And now, the Post and the London Sun both report, that's what happened. Madonna will be on tour until December but the couple has prepared a statement to be released today announcing their split, according to the tabloids.*

Next up in celebrity news: Lindsay Lohan breaks up with Sam Ronson and goes back to being straight, Zach Efron and Vanessa Hudgens get married too young, and Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon break up and she calls him a gold-digger. This is easy — why don't we work at In Touch, again?

UPDATE* Yep, the statement has arrived: Confirmed: Madonna And Guy To Divorce [HuffPo]
MADONNA, GUY RITCHIE DIVORCING [NYP]
Madonna and Guy to divorce — they can't bear the pretence [London Sun]
Earlier: Astrologist Susan Miller even saw this in the stars!