Madonna Uses Son to Flash Coded A-Rod Message to West Side

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Like a moose in the headlights. Photo: FilmMagic

A-Rod supposedly has registered his car and his photo at Madonna's CPW building so he can visit her at will, while Guy Ritchie is supposedly already dating an actress in the Sherlock Holmes movie he's shooting. Also, Madonna's son Rocco played at Chelsea Piers wearing a Yankees shirt. Telling! Also, Madonna asked singer Ron Abel who does his roots. Anna Wintour caught a Sunday matinee of W. at the movies in Union Square, then cradled a gourd at the farmer's market as though it were a newborn child. (Well, we made some of that up.) GOPer Roger Stone wants to air an ad in swing states saying Obama backed Spitzer's plan to give illegal immigrants driver's licenses. Howard Stern is a really good chess player.

Law & Order is looking for people with their own slutty clothes to play tranny- and regular-type hookers. Chrissie Hynde says she likes Obama but he won't win: "Trust me. I know my people." Weird, Chrissie, who are you talking about? White people? Butch AARP rocker chicks? Hef-ugee Holly Madison savvily told a friend that voting for Obama in Nevada over California would count more. Britney Spears's trial for driving without a license was declared a mistrial. Rebecca Romjin joined Gwyneth, Julia Roberts, and Debra Messing in leveling global disparity by knitting a cap for an African baby. Cindy Adams is enraged that Wikipedia has yet to update inaccurate and very hurtful info about her. She also reports that the Fire Department in Palin's town of Wasilla is one old guy in Depends, and offers tips on how to air out a wet XM satellite radio.

George Clooney and Krista Allen are supposedly back together. LiLo and Sam Ronson, Eve, Justin Long, Seth Rosen, Elizabeth Banks, and a bunch of other celebs all swam in the pool at the Roosevelt Hotel in Hollywood without knowing the pool hadn't been drained after a dead body had been found in it. That's a perfect Sunset Boulevard–type item for Halloween! Ed McMahon says it's actually "kinda murky" that Donald Trump is really saving Ed's Beverly Hills home from foreclosure like Trump said he would. Jose Canseco and Danny Bonaduce will fight in a celebrity boxing bout. Dustin Hoffman wants to play twenties Hollywood publicist Maynard Nottage. Paul McCartney wrote the Beatles' "Michelle" to seem all French and deep so he could bag babes.