Scandalous Items Found in Mary-Louise Parker’s Trash

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Mary-Louise Parker's trash from her Village apartment was sifted through, scandalously revealing that she takes a medication for an underactive thyroid. Amy Poehler and Will Arnett had a baby they named Archie on Saturday, meaning that she did that whole Sarah Palin rap when she was about ready to pop. The Reverend Al Sharpton has a new, unnamed girlfriend. The New Jersey rest stop named after Howard Stern, where gays would congregate, has been closed because it costs too much to maintain. Novelist Coerte Felske thought model Adriana Lima wanted him to sign a copy of his book for her, especially because she's on the cover, but actually she wanted to sign it for him.

Bloomberg's staff was against his running for a third term, saying it would make him look bad, says Cindy Adams, who also flacks for the anti-aging product of some woman she met on a plane. Liz Smith says that the Hamptons Film Festival people are mad at her for printing someone's remark that it wasn't worth going to. Liz also lunches with her Post gossip colleague Paula Froelich, says she's slim and blonde, and flacks for Paula's upcoming novel. Radar magazine will still have its Halloween party at Citrine, even though the mag is folding. Beth Ostrosky is stuffing her face because she's training for a marathon, but says that because of the training, she's too tired to have sex with new husband Howard Stern.

Obama has reached out to Jennifer Hudson (who sang the national anthem at the DNC at his request), whose mother and brother were tragically found murdered last week, and whose nephew, 7, is missing. Also, new Knicks point guard Chris Duhon, who's played basketball in Chicago with Obama, says that Obama's very verbal on the court. Ne-Yo wore an Obama sign on the back of his jacket when he was doing the David Letterman show last week with John McCain, but strangely, the two did not have a productive conversation about it.

Lindsay Lohan loves Sam Ronson but is still into guys and doesn't identify as a lesbian. Steven Spielberg and George Lucas deny that they looked online together at lingerie sites. Lisa Ann, who plays Sarah Palin in a new porn flick, is going to give the flick to her pro-McCain friends for Christmas, and also thinks that Palin probably wears sexy panties and bras. Diane Von Furstenberg would abolish guns if she had a superpower. Warren Buffett's musician son, Peter, is shopping his memoir. Stephen Colbert sort of joked that Keith Olbermann is so insane that he collects his own urine like Howard Hughes used to do. Giorgio Armani is throwing a big party in Barcelona for Il Divo. Alan Cumming gets a funny feeling in his tummy when he sees Madonna.