While Pete Wentz’s Bandmate Acts Like Big Martyr, Diana Ross Tarries in Eponymously Named Playground

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Jude Law supposedly picked up a dancer at the Box who then holed up in his Gramercy Park Hotel room for three days. Amy Harris and the other women who wrote the Sex and the City episodes are now writing a Web series called "Puppy Love" to benefit the ASPCA. Pete Wentz, bandmate Patrick Stump, and Blender editor Joe Levy all had salads at Keens Steakhouse because Patrick is vegetarian and didn't say anything about it beforehand. (Passive-aggressive.) Brandon "Greasy Bear" Davis played pool for $200 a game at the Rose Bar with some "hot skanky babes," then walked out in a tantrum when he lost and went to Bungalow 8. Diana Ross hung out at her own playground in Central Park, probably waiting for some mom to thank her for it, which some mom did, getting Diana to quip, "You're welcome."

Bill Clinton's Secret Service guys didn't recognize singer Robin Thicke and kept scrutinizing him when Clinton and Thicke were at separate functions at Top of the Rock. Kate Hudson is singing all over town while shopping to get ready for her part in the movie Nine. Julianne Moore says her young kids are so fashionable that if she were blind (like in her new movie Blindness, get the hook?) she'd let them dress her. Devorah Rose says that the fighting between her and Kristian Laliberte on their new reality show Social Heights is totally real, but she didn't need to tell us that, because if it's a reality show, of course it's real, right? That's why it's called reality TV, because it's an accurate reflection of real life.

Catherine Keener and Sean Avery are having some kind of a holding-hands-in-dark-corners-of-bars affair thing, even though there is a shocking, disgusting, culturally inappropriate 21-year age difference between them. Quincy Jones went off on Wynton Marsalis, saying he has no interest in hip-hop and that no other trumpeter "wants to play like Wynton," and Marsalis seems surprised by the comments but admits he doesn't respect hip-hop much. Liam Neeson caused such a stir at Ben & Jack's Steakhouse that no one noticed the presidents of Bulgaria, Albania, and Tajikistan. We know Liam Neeson is pretty well known, but that is just hard to believe.

Jonas Brothers manager Johnny Wright says he wants nothing to do with the music career of Lindsay Lohan's little sister, Ali. Paul McCartney's new song tells his ex Heather Mills, "You have money and no manners." Kevin Costner is in talks to do a Bull Durham sequel. Shannen Doherty doesn't go on the Internet because when she did she'd read stuff about herself and end up thinking everybody hated her. Martha Stewart could live on bread and water, even though she currently doesn't have to. The Olsen twins went to a Paris club together holding hands and were inseparable all night, proving it's not true that they hate each other.

Oliver Stone, whose Dubya movie opens October 14, says that even though nobody pays Dubya attention right now, we'll be feeling his effects for the next twenty years. Elizabeth Edwards was too sick to go to the Governors Conference in Pittsburgh. O.J. Simpson's jurors said they're not racist because they found him guilty in that whole Vegas-memorabilia-gun-heist thing, even though none of them are black. Most important, though, in going forward this week: Angelina Jolie now has "13 known tattoos."