Doctored-Up Holiday Tree Inspires Borscht-Belt Brilliance in Brooklyners

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The fifteen-foot Christmas tree just installed in the Metrotech Commons in downtown Brooklyn had to be augmented with branches from another tree for cosmetic reasons, inspiring a Catskills-quality round of punnery from a trio of bystanders. The Brooklyn Paper recorded these quotes: "'Man, that tree has had more work done than Joan Rivers!' quipped one man. 'I’d call it ‘tree-chery,' said another. 'I’d hate to see the ampu-tree that gave up its limbs,' added a third." BP editor Gersh Kuntzman, you brilliant cheeseball, if we didn't respect you so much as a journo, we'd think you made up those quotes yourself. [Brooklyn Paper]