Madonna Insists on Kabbalah Water; Leighton Meester Prefers Tequila

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At the Glamour Awards, Katie Couric said she thinks Sarah Palin needs to learn more about governing, and American Idol's David Cook sang "The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face" to Hillary Clinton (kinda weird!), who then joked that he got more votes than she did (awkward). Hillary also got tepid applause at the star-studded 200th anniversary of Abyssinian Baptist Church in Harlem, because her support for Obama was tepid, says a VIP.

Madonna says that her ex-in-progress, Guy Ritchie, can't see their sons, Rocco and David, unless he keeps newspapers and photographers away from them, gives them only Kabbalah water, dresses them in clothes with natural fibers, and gives them only "spiritually and ethically" sound toys. Meanwhile, Leighton Meester downed tequila shots and made out with boyfriend Sebastian Stan at Diablo Royale.

Ex-Met Mike "I'm Not Gay" Piazza is writing an autobio. Ricki Lake will host a November 18 women's-health fund-raiser at sex-toy shop Babeland. Chip Kidd's Strand party for his new Batman-in-Japan book was SRO.

New divorcé Tracy Morgan says he keeps meeting gold-diggers who hassle him when he wants to [bleep]. Spike Lee and Mario Lopez finally met at Chez Josephine, so the Circle of Life is now complete. Cindy gives early Oscar picks and chats with John Patrick Shanley, who says Doubt was based in part on a supportive male teacher he had in Catholic school who didn't try to molest him but whom he knew was a child molester. No doubt!
Beyoncé thinks it's time for a black Wonder Woman and wants to be her. She also says her new album is called I Am ... Sasha Fierce because that's how she thinks of herself before she goes onstage, to differentiate from her everyday, unfierce self. LiLo wants to buy her own home and regrets she spent so much living at the Chateau Marmont for nearly two years. Sacha Baron Cohen uses real gay porn stars for an orgy scene in his upcoming Bruno movie. Jennifer Aniston says it was "very uncool" of Angelina Jolie to spill details last year about her affair with Brad pre-Jennifer's-knowing-about-it. Amy Winehouse has a new mop-top hairdo that looks like the title tyke in the 1982 movie Annie, says the News in the dumbest and funniest comparison story of all time.