The New York ‘Times’ Will Not Take Your ‘Bitchassness’

By
Jeb Mason, national treasure. Photo: FilmMagic

Most of you are familiar with the term "bitchassness," right? No? Well, the Urban Dictionary has a number of helpful definitions, but basically it's a term that Sean "Diddy" Combs coined during his show, The Making of the Band, to describe an attitude of general whininess, wimpitude, and laziness. You know, bitchassness (see image). Anyway, comedian and writer Aziz Ansari is currently in the final stages of editing a piece for the New York Times about Diddy's multitudinous YouTube blogs. Of course Ansari hoped to include Diddy Blog No. 10, "Bitchassness Alert Level Orange." It's a really wonderful representation of his oeuvre. Anyway, this for some reason caused a problem with the Times copy desk.

Ansari (who is launching a comedy tour called "Glow in the Dark Standup" and is working on the Office spinoff with Amy Poehler) decided to argue for the inclusion of the word in the article, and to plead his case the way he thought the Times would understand: using research and evidence. The Paper of Record has used the word "bitch" several times and "ass" thousands of times, apparently. And even the conjunction "kick-ass" once! From his emotional e-mail appeal, which is posted in full on his Website:

“Kick-ass” is not too far off from “Bitch-ass” and I already showed we have several instances of Bitch being printed in the Times. Once again, “Kick-ass” is in the context of a quotation, which is the same thing I’m trying to do.



Based on all this information and research, hopefully you can stretch the standards to allow “Bitchassness” to be printed. The word is in the title of a piece of work I’m writing about and is part of a quote that is essential to understanding the subject of my piece.



I’d also like to add, this is the dumbest thing I’ve ever argued for/researched in my life.


What? How can you even say that!? To say that the fight to evolve America's working language to include necessary adjustments in a changing world is "dumb"? Why, that's … that's … it's just Bitchassery, is what it is.

The Dumbest Thing I've Ever Researched/Argued For [Aziz Is Bored]
Diddy Blog #10: Bitchassness Alert Level Orange [YouTube]