Joe Scarborough Threatens to Go Vigilante After Mika Brzezinski Gets Mugged

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Before you start weeping and rending your clothes, you should know that Mika Brzezinski was not harmed. We repeat: Mika Brzezinski is okay, people. How do we know? Because she was on Morning Joe this morning laughing the whole thing off. Apparently she gets much angrier about being forced to read stories about Paris Hilton than being forced to give up her hard-earned six dollars. "No, it's no big deal. He probably just needed the money," she reasoned, full of Christmas spirit.

Joe Scarborough, on the other hand, was furious as he railed against the anonymous hotel where the mugging occurred. But he also had some constructive (read: terrible) advice. "The correct answer, Buchanan and I, what we always tell muggers, you say, 'Yes, I've got $20 for all of you.' It's a Bernie Goetz bit." Ah, yes, Bernie Goetz, that guy who shot four teens on the subway in the eighties. That takes us back. "Somebody better hope they don't ask me for twenty dollars outside the District in that way," Joe continued. "It will not end pretty for them." Hear that, muggers? You've been warned. Joe Scarborough is not worth your trouble.