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"Who needs a red carpet?"

gossipmonger

Katie Holmes Went to Her Apartment Christmas Party for Two Minutes

Katie Holmes stayed about two minutes at the Christmas party in the lobby of the American Felt Building on East 13th Street, where she, Tom, and Suri are living and where paparazzi are camped out 24/7. (We know because we live down the street, and daily sneer at those who draw a paycheck from gossip and petty celeb-tracking.) Governor Paterson should lighten up about Fred Armisen's SNL blind skit, say non-famous blind people, who should be ashamed of their non-seeing selves for not standing up for the Most Awesome Cuddly Guv of All History. Agnes Gund kind of regrets that she implied in W that she gives more to MoMA than other board members even though they have more money than she does. When Hoda Kotb forgot to pay $16 for two glasses of Champagne at the bar during the intermission of the stage premiere of Shrek, someone in her group said, "But she's a celebrity!" but she paid anyway. Al Roker and Diane Sawyer both flex their morning-show muscles at the restaurant Flex Mussles on East 82nd Street. The Post helpfully reminds us that Lorenzo Martone, Marc Jacobs's new boyfriend, "is neither a former rent boy nor porn star, and a big step up."

Cindy Adams says that General Motors has hired New York lawyers to review bankruptcy options, and not that she's saying they'll declare before year's end, but, you know, she's just sayin', and when Cindy's just sayin', well, you know. Also, her column is just really juicy today, especially once she gets going talking about some new JetBlue promotion involving her Yorkie, Jazzy. Cin, wait, we thought Jazzy died, like, five years ago. You got another Yorkie and named it Jazzy, too, just like the first one's death never happened? How did we miss that? Oh, Cin. Have a good Tuesday, okay?

Debbie Harry and Parker Posey gave Justin Bond a standing O after he did the whole Carpenters' "Close to You" album at the Abrons Art Center. (And he deserved it, because we saw it and we know!) Jamie Foxx and his crew went to Sofrito two nights in a row. Debi Mazar got called out on a radio show for still smoking after playing a 60 Minutes producer who helps bust Big Tobacco in The Insider, but said cigarettes are tempting now that her breast milk has dried up. We hear that. Queen Elizabeth is feeling the recession pinch, turning out lights in unused rooms in Buck Palace and eating leftovers from banquets. Goldie Hawn, Salma Hayek, and Laura Linney are going to an amfAR benefit in Dubai later this month. (OMG, they have AIDS in Dubai!?!?) Paul Anka says things are fine now between him and his wife after she brained him in the head with an ice cube last month and got arrested.

Liev Schreiber is working out to have good abs for the next X-Men movie. Paula Abdul is not leaving American Idol, says the show's producer. Anthony Kiedis nearly had kidney failure. Katy Perry, who sang the "I Kissed a Girl" song, is engaged to the lead guy from the band Gym Class Heroes. Robert Pattinson, from the movie Twilight, said he hadn't washed his hair in six weeks. Jennifer Aniston likes to wear "pokies" in her bra that make her nip out even when it's not cold outside. And to end with the exact opposite news, Keira Knightley doesn't let people airbrush in bigger boobs for her.

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