Love Letters From Mediocre Men

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He'll be here all week: Chip Saltsman. Photo: NYpost

Former FHM editor and Zoomdoggle blogger Jake Bronstein failed when he tried to woo a fellow reality star on MTV's Road Rules a few years ago, and now he's just tossing off love letters to anyone—you don't even have to be in a relationship with him! Today's Post reports that Bronstein and "his girlfriend, Kristina Hoge, 26, also of Williamsburg," have started a service wherein they write "love letters" to strangers who need a little pick-me-up. Sounds sweet, right? Here is a sample:

"You're so funny, (I'm pretty sure) and your hair is so beautiful (what color is it?) I hope we can spend more time together."

Touching! Except, erm, not. Something kind of weird and impersonal about it. Still, there's definitely an excellent idea for a service in here, though its maybe not the one Bronstein thinks. There are so many women in New York in need of some drama to liven up their long dry spells. Maybe Bronstein could provide not just lame love letters but all of the sort of crap provided by the kind of idiot boyfriends ladies acquire out of boredom. Like for instance he could come over and play tuneless guitar while you try have a conversation and do things like say he's going to take you out to dinner somewhere great and then neglect to make a reservation so that you end up eating at like Whitecastle. Then when you're done with him, you can call him and say, "Hey, are we still on for Thursday?" And he'll be like, "I'll call you right back," and then totally disappear forever.

He's Your Mr. Write [NYP]