Madonna and A-Rod’s Friends Are Spreading Misinformation

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This image was too bizarre not to use again. Photo: Everett Bogue; Photos: Getty Images

In the same item about Madonna and Alex Rodriguez in the Daily News, sources say the opposite things about whether or not they are looking for an apartment together. One insider says they are "intoxicated" with one another, but "[t]his isn't a deep and serious love affair. It will last as long as Madonna wants it to." Meanwhile, those pals should be more careful — Madge just won a suit against the paper that published leaked pictures of her wedding. Joe and Jill Biden celebrated their daughter-in-law's birthday at Elephant, which is awesome because that's a restaurant normal people go to. Meanwhile, even though they weren't allowed to interview her and she wasn't as popular as Brad Pitt in the ratings, Good Morning America wants Britney to come back on the show.

Tony Blair used to wear "long hair, ripped jeans, and a cape made from old drapes" when he was a hippie at Oxford. Real-estate legend Alice F. Mason is closing her office, which probably means something to people who can be trusted with nice things (read: not us). Every famous, rich old person in New York posed for a Vanity Fair portrait at The Four Seasons, which prompted all sorts of bickering and a little bit of ageism from "Page Six." Amy Winehouse has been in the hospital for a long time, which would be bad news for anybody but her.

Proving once and for all that there aren't enough soccer bars in New York, Russian gazillionaire Roman Abramovich was forced to go to Nevada Slims in the East Village to watch his Chelsea team play. Mariah Carey may be pregnant, or she may have stolen another unfortunate lady's sonogram printout. Amy Sedaris insists Stephen Colbert can be "really serious," which we can tell by looking at his hair. Pam Anderson made out with — and then ditched — her ex-boyfriend Stephen Dorff, which "Page Six" takes as evidence of drunkenness, but we just see as efficiency. What, were they going to have a conversation?

Jake Gyllenhaal will be able to celebrate his birthday with Reese Witherspoon, which we know you and Liz Smith had been really fretting about. Sirio Maccioni cried while watching a movie about himself. Liza Minnelli and her dancers from "Liza at the Palace" will pedal on Duracell bikes to charge up the ball of lights in Times Square this New Year, which is just about as confusing as promotions get.