Tabs Obligatorily Report Emptiness Behind Britney’s Rehabbed Smile

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WHAT IS THAT IN HIS HAND?
WHAT IS THAT IN HIS HAND? Photo: Getty Images

Britney Spears was surrounded by her mom, new publicist, and celeb dudes like Jeremy Piven, Josh Lucas, Simon Hammerstein, and Dave Zinzcenko at her 27th-birthday party last night at Tenjune, but "seemingly had no close friends on hand" and rocked "an empty, wide-eyed stare." Taylor Momsen was still rocking her Joan Jett–like haircut at the opening of the Manhattan annex of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, and said she dreamed of a music career, just like Daddy Rufus. Chef David Burke was told by the girl with the clipboard that he wasn't on the list at the opening of his own restaurant, Fishtail. Stephon Marbury is going ahead and buying that $40 mil private jet even though the Knicks don't like him and no other teams want to take him on. Trouper Ivana Trump did an awards ceremony in Paris just hours after announcing her separation from Rossano Rubicondi.

Regis Philbin stocked up on shaving cream and cosmetics at the Queens warehouse of his pal, drugstore czar Stewart Rahr, then slipped $400 onto Rahr's desk after Rahr refused payment from him. Aw. Dustin Hoffman relates every detail of his daily routine, including watching the dog poop and probably pooping himself ("then it's my ablutions..."), to a rapt Cindy Adams.

David Gregory's announcement as the new host of Meet the Press is being delayed because NBC is furious the news was so widely leaked, perhaps by MSNBC's Chuck Todd. Keith Richards may release an album of himself singing standards like "Over the Rainbow," says Liz Smith says, also reporting that exes Bruce Willis and Demi Moore will spend Christmas with Demi's new hub, Ashton Kutcher, and Bruce's girlfriend Emma Heming. Don't be breaking out those nostalgic, back-when-we-were-married tree ornaments, you two!

Doing her duty as an good fake-news-generating reality-TV bot, Heidi Montag's mom says she doesn't think Heidi's marriage to Spencer Pratt, which probably isn't legal since they did it in Mexico, will last, and also that Spencer may have drugged her to get her to do it. Barbra Streisand may drive the hotel staff crazy (reportedly in 2001 she told the staff of one hotel that she wanted every inch of her room and bathroom carpeted) when she is honored by the Kennedy Center Sunday, and will also, let's hope, say negative things from the stage to Dubya, who'll be in the audience. Obama's 2007 letter to the father of a slain soldier in Iraq, apologizing for having said that 3,000 American military lives were "wasted" there, is being sold for $24,000. Paris Hilton wants to play the title role in Disney's live-action version of Tinkerbell. That'd be one slutty little fairy, and we know from those.