When Andrew Cuomo and Sandra Lee Marry, They’ll Have a Wedding-Cake Village Made With Twinkies

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The cleft can smell you upwind. Photo: Getty Images

Rufus Wainwright says it's so hard putting on his Carnegie Hall Christmas show with his relatives that he'll probably convert to Hasidism at some point. Divorced New York State attorney general Andrew Cuomo is indeed dating Food Network star Sandra Lee, ostensibly so she'll make him lots of white-trash desserts out of Swedish Fish and pudding pops. The woman taking reservations at an uptown restaurant the other day was disappointed that the Robert Zimmerman she'd made the reservation for was the DNC committeeman and not Bob Dylan (whose real name was Robert Zimmerman, y'all know, right?). The spoof idea for Allen Roskoff's gay Democratic holiday party is "My Big Fat Gay Wedding," starring same-sex lovebirds Mayor Bloomberg and Council speaker Chris Quinn. Ha-ha-ha, chortle chortle, merry merry. Cindy Adams is giving ASPCA the $10,000 Harvey Weinstein just gave her after Cindy won a bet over whether Young Frankenstein would last on Broadway five years. (He'd said yes, she said no.)

Also about Harvey Weinstein, he thinks there simply can't be too many movies about the Holocaust, like his new one, The Reader. Claus von Bulow said he was "very sad" to learn of the recent death of his ex-wife, "Sunny," whom he was acquitted of trying to murder in the eighties. Perez Hilton has a kind of snarky twelve-step-type book coming out on how to be a vapid celebrity. Mary-Kate Olsen drank and smoked on the Miami Art Basel scene supposedly to prove that she's not with child, which her rep says she isn't. She also debated with a friend over buying Brussels sprouts at Murray's Cheese Shop. Is that a sign of pregnancy? Victoria Beckham is ripping off designer Rouland Mouret's "Galaxy" dress (whatever the hell that is), those who follow these things say.

Obama just bought his first new tuxedo in fifteen years. Former Tennessee senator and Law & Order star Fred Thompson will rent out his luxury D.C. one-bedroom during the inauguration for $30,000 for five days. Hairspray star Aubrey O'Day has been introducing a certain female friend as "my girlfriend," not because she really is, but to show her opposition to Proposition 8, which banned same-sex couples in California from marrying. Daytime-TV-looking self-help guru Tony Robbins's rep says it isn't true that he and a gang walked out on $330 of food they'd ordered at Philippe Miami without even leaving the proportionate tip for the waiters. Newly scuzzy-looking Mickey Rourke is now make a new flick with Jason Statham, Ray Winstone, 50 Cent, and Michael Shannon (of the new movie Revolutionary Road). Kevin Jonas says it's a rumor and a lie that he's leaving the Jonas Brothers. Good. Now can the week really begin in earnest?