Rod Blagojevich, who is in the midst of an impeachment trial in the Illinois State Senate, plans to file a lawsuit to stop the proceedings because he says they lack "fundamental fairness" because he couldn't bring in witnesses to testify on his behalf. He held a press conference today to explain what he meant, helpfully using metaphors to demonstrate his case:
"[Under state Senate rules] if the cowboy charged with stealing a horse was charged with doing that in town, but in fact on the date and time that he apparently stole the horse in town he was on the ranch with six other cowboys, herdin' cattle and ropin' steers, and then he expects that when his day comes to go to court he can bring those six cowboys to say it wasn't him 'cause he wasn't in town, he was on the ranch herdin' cattle, even if he could bring those cowboys in to say that, under these rules, under 8B, it wouldn't matter."
Oh, we get it. He's just mad we got distracted by Loony Toons Caroline Kennedy and Governor Paterson, so he decided to go all Animaniac to get the spotlight back. Perfectly understandable.