We at Intel in no way condone shoplifting. Jessica is still traumatized from getting banned from Bradlee's for stealing a tube of Revlon's "Cherries in the Snow" way back in the twentieth century, and Chris—and this is such a Chris story—still has the occasional pang of guilt about the packet of tissues that he accidentally stole, even though he went back and paid for them. But we can't help but be impressed with what one underemployed freelancer told Gothamist he brought home from a mission at Whole Foods: "three pounds of wild tuna, two pounds cod fish, one pound of walnuts, three pieces of brie cheese, four carry-on bags of pre-made sushi, one bottle of the best quality Italian olive oil." Nice. See kids? Being unemployed won't be so bad. Provided you have the guts, thievery in the Greatest Depression is much more fruitful than it was in 1929.
Interview With A Shoplifter [Gothamist]