Giant Snowboard Torture Device Rises on Lower East Side


Anybody who exercises or relaxes in East River Park knows that the little strip of green east of FDR Drive is bursting at the seams with soccer fields, tennis courts, running tracks, and baseball diamonds. All summer long, the park is filled with kids and adults playing all kinds of sports. (Sure, they may not be the glorious specimens of perfect twentysomething health that frolic along Hudson River Park with their Penn shorts and perfectly toned calves, but they’re healthy, dammit! Sorry.)

Well, today we learn that the sports are continuing in the winter, even though there is snow on the ground. Red Bull is constructing the largest snowboard ramp to ever be built in the city, for Winter Jam NYC. According to the Times, boarders like Shaun White, Pat Moore, and Travis Rice are going to slide down that thing and, presumably, try not to impale themselves on any energy-drink branding. It kind of looks fun, right? Mmm. Not really. What it actually looks like is a sophisticated neutering device for rollerbladers. Which isn’t necessarily something we don’t need here in New York, but it seems impolite to make such a big production out of it.

Snowboard Ramp Rises on Lower East Side [City Room/NYT]