Approximately five minutes after US Airways Flight 1549 crash-landed on the Hudson River, shortly after we realized that everyone had miraculously survived because of the heroic actions of the company pilot and crew, we wondered: "How long before these people start suing?" Well, according to the Post, the drumroll has begun:
Some who were on the plane — brought down by a flock of geese after takeoff from La Guardia Airport on Jan. 15 — said the temporary tease of first-class perks is for the birds. "I think if you survive a plane crash, being upgraded permanently is a good gesture too," said Fred Berretta, 41, of Charlotte, NC, where the Airbus A320 was headed.
Manhattanite Tess Sosa, who escaped the sinking plane with her husband and two small children, thought the airline was too focused on self-congratulations … "They are happy they had such amazing results, and they applaud themselves, and then give us a small token?" she said. "That's how I take it."
Apparently upgrades for a year and $5,000 are not nearly good enough for these people, whose main accomplishment in this matter was buckling a seatbelt and then exiting a wet plane. But then again, we knew it wouldn't be. Next up, Erin Brockovich gets involved, Weitz & Luxenberg takes up the class-action suit, and John Grisham publishes a novel about it six months later. By next year it'll be a movie on TBS starring Kirk Cameron as Captain Sullenberger, and by 2010 we'll all just be ashamed we ever teared up when Governor Paterson called it a miracle.
SURVIVORS' GILT [NYP]