Oh, for the love of God. As more details trickle out about would-be fugitive Marcus Schrenker's ham-fisted escape adventure, we're almost starting to feel bad for the guy. The neighbor he e-mailed after dropping out of his plane as part of his "I'm George Clooney in one of those heist movies" fantasy, Tom Britt, revealed the contents of the e-mail to the Times, and it's even worse than we thought. Not only does he say he has embarrassed his family "for the last time" when he clearly hasn't, he editorializes his own reasons for running off, so that Tom would know what to tell everyone.
Mr. Schrenker claimed in the message that a window in the plane imploded, hitting him with glass and causing him to lose oxygen. “Hypoxia can cause people to make terrible decisions and I simply put on my parachute and survival gear and bailed out,” he said in the message.
The paper doesn't reprint the whole e-mail, but we imagine it goes on to say something like, "You know, it was totally spontaneous. Just like that candid photo of me in a tuxedo, with my hot wife and Lexus and airplane all together like that (attached)."
Pilot’s 3-Day Run From Ruin Ends [NYT]
Earlier: Marcus Schrenker Planned Awkward Escape in Order to Avoid Embarrassing His Family