Oh, Real World Brooklyn. What Are You Doing?

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Devyn and Chet meet for the first time under that bridge there.
Photo: Courtesy of MTV

Last night we were a little bit blinkered by the fairy-tale version of Brooklyn portrayed on this new season of the Real World. Apparently, in the Country of Kings, everything sold in stores has a big BK logo on it (as does the house’s main door, apparently designed by Brooklyn Industries). Quiet water taxis sail past one’s back door, charming pickup games of stickball — in which eight MTV kids who cannot hit the ball don’t get beat up — are a stone’s throw away, and bands performing at clubs can't stop yelling "Where Brooklyn At?" Junior's Cheesecake in the fridge? Family pizza outings? Will they ever do anything that isn't faux authentic? When we saw the cast at the Notorious premiere last night, we had to ask.

Did they eat at the Red Hook ball fields? “Not Mexican, obviously, but the Spumoni Gardens," said cast member Baya Voce, slightly confused. "We were taken there on the second day. That has got to be some of the best pizza I’ve ever had." Well. Turns out Mormon Chet Cannon's favorite place to eat is really authentic: the Ikea food court. "We’re all very partial to that," he told us. “I don’t know if it makes it to the final cut, but, I mean, most of my time was spent there.” And did they have to walk 30 minutes to and from the subway? Yes, they did. "I like walking from the subway sometimes, like just cut down the streets," Scott Herman said. "It kind of reminds me of where I grew up."

For a minute, we thought that a teeny bit of the genuine Red Hook might have penetrated their reality-TV bubble. Would they recommend people move there? "Yeah, definitely," Chet said. "Or Salt Lake City. Also a great place."

Hmmm, so no, then.