Name: Trevor Moore
Occupation: Founder of and comedian in sketch-comedy troupe the Whitest Kids U Know, which performs at Comix, January 22 to 24. A new season of their show starts on IFC January 27. He also wrote, directed, and acted in the upcoming movie Miss March.
Who’s your favorite New Yorker, living or dead, real or fictional?
I like that dude who got arrested for keeping tigers and lions and stuff in his apartment a couple of years back. I’ll bet he was a really fun guy to hang around with.
What’s the best meal you’ve eaten in New York?
There’s this place called Punjab Deli on Houston where all the cab drivers go. It’s not the best meal I’ve had in the city, but I think I get more excited about eating there than anywhere else. We used to go there in college a lot because the food’s really good and you can get a whole meal for like two bucks.
In one sentence, what do you actually do all day in your job?
I hang out with my friends and try to think of stuff that I would have loved when I was a kid.
Would you still live here on a $35,000 salary?
I lived here for years making way less than that. It’s easy; smoke Parliaments, jump turnstiles, and go to art galleries to get drunk.
What’s the last thing you saw on Broadway?
I think it was Sweeney Todd.
Do you give money to panhandlers?
I kind of automatically say “no.” Then a block later I start to feel bad, and eventually turn around to go back and give them something.
What’s your drink?
Jack and ginger in the winter. Vodka tonic for the summer.
How often do you prepare your own meals?
I think I did it once … it was probably Oreos.
What’s your favorite medication?
Chicken-noodle soup, a cup of hot tea, and OxyContin.
What’s hanging above your sofa?
A large deer head. His name is Carl and he likes to wear hats.
How much is too much to spend on a haircut?
Twenty-five bucks? I don’t know. I know girls have to pay more.
Three or four a.m. I live above a bar, so it’s pretty noisy.
Which do you prefer, the old Times Square or the new Times Square?
That’s like asking if you’d prefer to hang out with a scary, stinky whore or a loud, annoying cartoon character.
What do you think of Donald Trump?
Good guy. He’s my best friend. We play Wii Bowling at his place every Thursday.
What do you hate most about living in New York?
We get one Arby’s? Seriously?? There’s like 8 million people here!
Who is your mortal enemy?
This prick named Dr. Judgment. He lives on this stupid island in the Pacific and is always trying to take over the world and stuff. I usually stop him, though.
When’s the last time you drove a car?
Well, I was in Los Angeles for a couple of months last year, but before that it had been about eight years.
How has the Wall Street crash affected you?
I don’t just buy puppies whenever I feel like I want one and then let them go when I am done. I’m trying to save money that way.
Times, Post, or Daily News?
Post and Daily News every day. Times on Sundays.
Where do you go to be alone?
To my roof. It’s like having a little backyard that someone spray-painted “cock” all over.
What makes someone a New Yorker?
Unless you’re born here, I don’t know if you can ever become a full New Yorker. But the more traumatic events you endure with the city, the more of a New Yorker you become. I’ve got a 9/11, a blackout, some subway strikes, and a few blizzards under my belt. If I can get a good Nor’easter in there, I think I can start using the accent.