Katie Couric Is Too Big for Your Little Town Car

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No, really! We look forward to meeting this guy on the street! We just can't really afford it, is all. Photo: Elie Hirshfeld

Katie Couric drives around in a chauffeured SUV while Ann Curry makes do with a regular Town Car. Drew Barrymore made out with Hugh Grant, then left to meet Clive Owen at the Beatrice Inn. (The next night, Hugh's tongue found solace with two women in the meatpacking district.) Gwyneth Paltrow isn't quite sure where Chris Martin will be on Valentine's Day. Kate Hudson has a stripper pole in her bathroom.

Can Terrance Howard get a take-back on his comment that Chris Brown is a "great guy"? He wasn't up to speed on that whole Rihanna unpleasantness. This year's upcoming Fashion Week is going to be full of frumpy people who belong in Talladega. Al D'Amato wants Rick Lazio to stick it to Giuliani in the 2010 GOP gubernatorial primary. Madonna's boyfriend, Jesus Luz, has girlfriends on the side and exes who want money from the Post. Gemma Ward's friends intervene whenever the model is at risk of looking fat. Geraldo Rivera partied next to an "indifferent" Anna Wintour.

Tori Spelling fears her husband will leave her for a co-star. Michael Phelps is the hottest "get" in talk television, though he may charge you $1 million for the privilege. Elena Ford's "blue collar ex-husband" won't write a tell-all book about the heiress. Joaquin Phoenix's documentary cameras follow him everywhere.

In honor of Friday the 13th, Cindy Adams delves into celebrities' worst fears. Meg Ryan's is underground parking garages; Cin, however, is afraid of lawsuits. Also, she wants us to know that "Whitney Port is not a dock for steamships." Donny Deutsch needs Charlie Gasparino to stop acting like God. Kimora Lee Simmons's armpits are now admirably hair-free.