Guy Ritchie, here in town, went to Marie's Crisis piano bar and sang "Tomorrow" from Annie with "two hot chicks and a gay guy," thereby forever disproving Madonna's brother Christopher's assertion that Guy doesn't like the Gays and Gay Stuff. Jared and Ivanka went to kosher restaurant Solo for Jared's sister Niki's birthday. Geraldo Rivera spoke perfect Spanish while ordering at Sofrito, which we should hope — everybody with a Spanish name speaks Spanish! David Barton's new ads for his gym in Chelsea are being protested by someone on the local community board who says they're pornographic. Can we see them now, please?
Marc Jacobs's boyfriend, Lorenzo Martone, wore a T-shirt out that said, "Do me in the park. Marc." Russell Simmons has been seen about town with a fruit heiress. Using syntax from the Lower East Side circa 1910, Cindy Adams accosts Ginnifer Goodwin at the premiere for He's Just Not Blah Blah Blah. And that Ginnifer sure seems to have conflicting feelings about text-sex, so get those resolved, Ginn — your ambivalence is probably holding up the stimulus bill. Cindy also finds out that a little room at the Tribeca Grand Hotel is named after her. Then she complains that it's too hot in there.
John Cleese was embarrassed by a much younger girlfriend who told the British press that he got his teeth fixed and got hair plugs ... but she also said he has a really big Fish Called Wanda. Arianna Huffington was basically called stupid by Mark Haines on MSNBC's Morning Joe. Kelly Cutrone, the fashion lady from The Hills and The City, will do her own show with Bravo about "strong women in the workplace" — just like Olivia. In announcing that Clay Aiken will be guest-judging on America's Next Top Model, the News seems especially mean, we must say. The Olsen twins are launching a menswear line with $200 T-shirts and $3,000 coats.
A golf ball flew into the knee of Mark Walhberg at a charity golf tournament, and Mark was seen rubbing it later. Slumdog stars Dev Patel and Freida Pinto nicely signed a copy of the movie's soundtrack and slipped it into the ambulance carrying away a woman who couldn't stay to watch them on The Tyra Banks Show because she'd had a seizure. Britney, Shaq, and Ashton's Twitters may actually be dumber and more boring than all of your friends' Twitters. And Solange Knowles' is even kind of un-P.C. toward homeless people.