According to Gawker, and some very explicit photographs from a Manhattan wine shop, there is some sort of relationship thing happening between Renée Zellweger, the actress, and Dan Abrams, the cute guy from MSNBC who decided he didn’t have to shave anymore when they took away his prime-time show. We don’t know either of them personally, or even how they met, but on a very superficial level this does not make sense to us. Renée Zellweger is an Oscar-winning actress who has starred in some of the most beloved romantic comedies of the past decade. She’s dated, or married, the likes of George Clooney, Jim Carrey, Jack White, Kenny Chesney, and Luke Perry.
Luke. Perry. Dramatic sideburns notwithstanding, Dan Abrams is a regular New York media person, like us. He comes to our parties and never remembers our name. He sends us testy e-mails, but still shakes our hand when we see him out. You know, just like everybody else in this business. If he can date Renée Zellweger, like in real life, than we’re going to be forced to look long and hard at why we’re not dating Bradley Cooper. Because if media-celebrity couples are truly possible, well, we’ve been wasting a lot of time dating and marrying within our caste.