This Rihanna and Chris Brown Story Is Getting More and More Bizarre

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Rihanna was bruised, bloodied, and perhaps bitten after her alleged confrontation with boyfriend Chris Brown. Chace Crawford and Ed Westwick's apartment in Chelsea is a pigsty. Billionaire Ron Baron razed a dune in the Hamptons and ripped out "vital vegetation" on the beach. Kanye West flirted with a rotating cast of women at the Belvedere IX Vodka launch in L.A. Jermaine Dupri is taking pictures for a coffee-table book to document his life. Obviously. Dick Parsons will host a romantic Valentine's Day radio show on WNYC. Again, obviously.

Richard Desmond is having a hell of a time finding someone to run OK! Magazine. Hey Rich, we know this young guy and girl who love Anne Hathaway and are really good at making deadlines … Chris Martin partied without Gwyneth after the Grammys. Michael Phelps also lost $2,000 on a beer-bong bet (that's right) at the South Carolina party where he was photographed smoking pot. Kelly Ripa couldn't get into Winter Jam in East River Park, but Kirsten Dunst could, of course. She knows all the doormen.

Roger Warner thinks John Updike was a philanderer, or, rather, a "sexual adventurer," which is a much nicer way of putting it. Matthew Mellon and Noelle Reno are friends, despite the dissolution of their relationship and business together. Perpetual slime victim Cameron Diaz wasn't nominated for a Nickelodeon Kid's Choice Award this year. Sharon Osbourne won't have plastic surgery on her eyes or lips. The Bush twins ate at Commerce in the West Village.

Cindy Adams continues to follow that other A-Rod story, the one where his kid was hospitalized last week for a staph infection. She also was flattered to get a call from Penélope Cruz while the actress was stuck on a delayed plane.