In this morning’s Post, Andrea Peyser has a remarkably candid interview with Marie Douglas-David, our favorite divorcée of 2009. (Of course 2008 belonged to Tricia Walsh-Smith and Christie Brinkley.) In it, Marie explains how this divorce trial is the latest move in a psycho-sexual game she used to play with her husband, in which he would file for divorce, they’d fight, they’d have sex, and then they’d get back together again. George, her estranged husband, filed for divorce four separate times in fact. Plus, he repeatedly harassed her over her own biological clock, even though he was three decades older. So who is winning in this “megadivorce” game, which Peyser calls “the biggest thing to hit Sweden and Connecticut since the invention of the herring”?
• Round One: George used to say to Marie, “If you improve and behave, you can have in-vitro fertilization.” When she turned 35, he called her a “failure” for not getting pregnant. “He didn’t want to be associated with a failure,” said Marie … whose biological clock, according to Peyser, is “ticking like a nuclear weapon.” Victor: Nobody. Except maybe the baby that was never born.
• Round Two: According to Peyser, one morning in 2004 the two were interrupted during breakfast at their house in Sagaponack when a bailiff walked in accompanied by the best man from their 2002 wedding. “George is crying, ‘I want a divorce,’” Marie said. “I went up and hugged him. I was completely in shock. We spent the rest of the day kissing and hugging and [with him] saying he loved me. He had sex with me that afternoon. We went to dinner that night.” Victor: George, if this was only a bid for great make-up sex. Otherwise, Marie, for sexing her way out of a big problem.
• Round Three: Later that year, Marie stayed out too late for dinner in the city with friends. The next day, she was served with divorce papers. “I called him up. I was devastated,” she said. This was a Thursday. By Saturday, they were “kissing and hugging each other at Rebecca’s.” Victor: Rebecca’s, for the weirdest and wealthiest name-check ever.
• Round Four: Yet another time, Marie was served papers shortly after she and her friends were flown out to the Hamptons on her husband’s company’s helicopter. They quickly reconciled, and the next thing Marie knew, “We’re looking for houses to rent for the next summer.” Victor: Marie, who is clearly used to this.
• Round Five: When Marie began begging for in vitro fertilization so the couple could conceive a child, he flat out denied her. “Why she’d want one from an overgrown infant is a mystery,” Peyser mused during the interview. “For the first time, [Marie] started to cry. I should look so good, crying.” Victor: George. Though, again, that unborn baby gets some points.
We don’t know whether Marie will win out in the divorce trial, in which she is making some outrageously fabulous demands. But who wins so far? Andrea Peyser, obviously. Not only did she score the interview everyone wanted, but she also managed to make the situation even funnier. “Take the dough, baby, and scoot away on your stilettos for the nearest baby daddy,” she advises Marie. “You can always find another rich megacreep.” Meanwhile, we’re totally adopting the phrase “her biological clock is ticking like a nuclear weapon.” We can lend it to OK! magazine for their next article about Jennifer Aniston.