Arrow Attacks Hit New Borough!


After making a hero of one special lady in the Bronx, arrow attacks have spread to Queens, causing extreme panic. The Weinberger family was sitting quietly in their living room in Bayside when a metal-tipped arrow thunked into the window frame on the outside of the house. “It was like a gunshot!” cried the young daughter. Her father, who had been outside the house and just missed getting hit by a few feet, ran inside, crying “Get out of here! Somebody shot an arrow into the house!” Luckily, it was a lone shot, and no marauding army of elves or even Iroquois followed — though a second arrow was later found nearby. This is getting worrisome. What, do they just sell bows and arrows to anybody these days?