CNBC Monkeys Beginning to Seriously Rattle the Cage


After Jon Stewart swept away the veil last week and revealed to Jim Cramer that there might be a different way of doing financial reporting, it looks like things have really gone south at CNBC. Aware now that this whole time they have been trapped in a cage, performing the same simple routine over and over for the sadistic entertainment of America, the network’s on-air talent is getting restless. “Page Six” today reports that Dylan Ratigan, the host of Fast Money and co-anchor of The Call and Closing Bell, has called it quits, furious over the role CNBC V.P. Susan Krakower has forced him into. The gossip column obtained a recorded message of Ratigan raving at Krakower for lying, being rude, and ignoring his complaints — and it also reports that today might be his last day on the network. A CNBC rep said that “the premise” of the story is incorrect, which is the kind of thing publicists say when something is “100 percent true,” so we guess we’ll have to say good-bye to Dylan Ratigan today. Which is kind of sad, because we remember that many months ago he was the first person to ever explain a CDS to us in a way we understood. The world needs people like that. Or, at least, cable does.