Family Wants Paterson to Save Its Diabolical Killer Fish


A Syracuse family is pleading for Governor Paterson to step in and block the planned “execution” of their pet snakehead fish, which is outlawed in New York because it’s an evil being capable of destroying the ecosystem, even crossing land between bodies of water in its quest to eliminate all other inferior species. They argue that since the fish, “Rocky,” resides in an aquarium in the kitchen, it poses no danger. And that actually makes sense. Or at least it used to, in a simpler, gentler time. But we’ve witnessed enough startling leaps in intelligence from birds and chimps recently to not underestimate the ability of any animal to pull off seemingly impossible feats. Just off the top of our heads, Rocky could play dead, wait to get flushed down the toilet, and then swim to freedom and a life of raping and pillaging the environment. Oh, and did we mention this fish can walk on land? We know the kids will be upset, but we’re sure they’ll find some other non-menacing fish that can stare blankly and swim aimlessly just as well as Rocky.

Suburban Syracuse family begs Gov. Paterson: Save our snakehead fish! [NYDN]