Yesterday was day four of the Douglas-David divorce trial, otherwise known as Our Preferred Method of Escape From Coverage of the Economy, otherwise known as the Divorce of the Year, in which 36-year-old Swedish countess Marie Douglas-David is suing her 66-year-old husband, George, a former United Technologies chairman, for $100 million. (It's a substantial bump from what she agreed to in a post-nuptial agreement, but a girl's gotta have fresh flowers.) In this installment, our heroine accuses her husband of trapping her in a gilded cage, then leaving her in there while he went and golfed with Connecticut senator Joe Lieberman. Who, let's face it, really didn't need to be associated with these people. Who else was name-checked, and who won the day in court? We score the greatest hits of the day, after the jump.
Round One: The court notes that George spent $200,000 a week on Marie, buying her "four or five furs," "at least a half-dozen $26,000 Birkin handbags" and taking her for weekend yacht trips off Sardinia." According to the Post, Marie "never had to lift a finger except to swipe his American Express card." She wrote the checks, she made the charges, and I paid them," George said. "I never once complained about her spending. Never once did I complain about her charges." Victor: Marie. Also, American Express.
Round Two : Marie claims that George barred her from actually owning any of the things he bought her, because, he said, he wanted to save money on taxes. This includes her own $190,000 diamond engagement ring, which George still retains the title to. "I took the position consistently that she had it constructively," George said on the stand. "I said to her, it's absolutely it's constructively yours." Victor: "Constructively yours," for being our favorite new sign-off, as in, "My heart is constructively yours." Losers: Romance, love, humanity.
Round Three : George got mad when Marie stayed out late at night, because he believed that "a married woman shouldn't be out after 5 p.m. without her husband." Victor: George. Because we feel for him. At 5 p.m, a 66-year-old man should be able to enjoy an early-bird special and a cup of decaf in silence with his wife, and where the hell was Marie?
Round Four : One night, Marie's lawyer claimed, Marie came home late after having "drinks at Morrell's in Manhattan" with a client of hers from Lazard-Freres. "That bothered you, didn't it?" the lawyer asked. "I don't remember," George answered. Victor: George, for playing the incipient Alzheimer's card. And Morrell's, for some kind of great publicity.
Round Five: Marie also claimed George didn't like her working and made her quit, but David countered that his wife had another reason for leaving her job. "Her employers felt she had married someone with means," he said. "And she didn't have the hunger anymore" for a Wall Street job. Victor: George. We'd buy that.
Round Six: Marie said she had a miscarriage in 2006, but George doesn't know if he believes it actually happened, because she was in Sweden and he was "in Argentina, then golfing in Florida and lunching with Sen. Joseph Lieberman." Victor: No one. Loser: Joe Lieberman, who probably spent most of last night wondering whether to craft a press release reading, in essence, "I don't know these people."
Round Seven: George sued Marie for divorce four times. Marie, for her part, only sued her husband for divorce once, but it was awesome. According to the Post, "She tried unsuccessfully to have him served while he attended a solo marriage-counseling session in Manhattan." Victor: Marie. Girl's got moxie.