We didn't mean for this to happen. We weren't expecting to see a pretty face when we sauntered over to the Times slideshow of Alpha's top-earning hedge-funders this year, just a bunch of math geeks who spend their days sitting around crunching numbers. We weren't looking for a relationship. But then our eyes came to rest on John Arnold, 33-year-old energy manager of Texas hedge fund Centaurus, with his blue eyes and actual Cary Grant chin cleft, and we fell in love a little. Granted, Arnold looks especially good in this context, alongside a bunch of guys who, should they choose to retire and pursue their dream of acting, could probably be cast in a Cialis commercial like tomorrow. (Not you, John Paulson. You are still our man, even though your decision to not participate in the public-private ownership program disappoints us. Also, you are probably too short.) And it's true that the $1.5 billion Arnold made last year and the fact that he ranks 300 on the Forbes list of richest Americans lends him a certain je ne sais quoi. Plus there are some things about Arnold that set off warning bells, like that he started out at Enron. But what can we say? We've always loved the bad boys.
Most Viewed Stories
Hearing Donald Trump Call Ted Cruz a Pussy Told Me Everything I Need to Know About His Campaign
Macklemore, Hillary, and Why White Privilege Is Everyone’s Burden
How the Fight Over Transgender Kids Got a Leading Sex Researcher Fired
The 100 Jokes That Shaped Modern Comedy
The Complete Guide to Beyoncé’s ‘Formation’
Beyoncé Rejected Chris Martin’s ‘Awful’ Song
Archie Comic Reveals Jughead Is Asexual
2016’s Oscars Class Photo: 8 Points of Interest
This UCLA Gymnast’s Floor Routine Should’ve Been the Super Bowl Halftime Show
Watch Beyoncé, Bruno Mars, and Coldplay’s Super Bowl Halftime Performance
Latest News from Daily IntelligencerRubio Glitch Truthers Insist He’s a Poet, Not a Robot
A new literary theory arises to defend the glitchy candidate.Body Paint and Phone Banks: Scenes From the Last Campaign Weekend in N.H.
A weekend at Bernie's (and Jeb's, and Hillary's, and Ted's, and the Donald's).Bjarke Ingels’s Spiral Is the Newest Ridiculously Tall, Ridiculously Expensive Addition to Hudson Yards
"Extending the High Line into the skyline."Fresh Intelligence: Texas Loses Refugee Fight, Trump Stands Up to Syrian Kids, and More
Our roundup of the stories, ideas, and memes you’ll be talking about today.Trains Collide in Germany, Leaving at Least 4 Dead, Dozens Injured
The two passengers trains were in a head-on crash.Oregon Militants Post Videos Taunting FBI, Say All Charges Should Be Dropped
They’re still confused about how this works.Bloomberg Confirms He’s Thinking About Making the 2016 Race Even Crazier
He finds the current political discussion “distressingly banal.”Marco Rubiobot Still Stuck in ‘Repeat’ Mode
He’s coping with his debate gaffe the only way he knows how: obsessively reciting talking points.Hearing Donald Trump Call Ted Cruz a Pussy Told Me Everything I Need to Know About His Campaign
The moment perfectly encapsulated his magnetism and psychosis, his appeal and his incoherence, his brilliance and his terribleness.State of Uncertainty: New Hampshire’s Long History of Primary-Night Surprises
New Hampshire doesn’t always defy the conventional wisdom in its primary results, but don't be surprised by a surprise.
The game played on.NYPD Cop Peter Liang Takes the Stand in His Manslaughter Trial
He got upset while he recounted the details of the night Akai Gurley was killed.John Kasich Tells Town Hall That He Is a Happy Medium Between Clinton and Sanders
Kasich isn't a Democrat, but he plays one in town halls.Indian Point Leaked (a Non-Dangerous Amount of) Tritium Into the Groundwater
Nothing to see here.Donald Trump Is Getting Serious About Populism
Why he's moving in on Bernie Sanders's turf.A Snowstorm Threatens to Chill Turnout at New Hampshire’s Primary
Some predict a snowy primary would be bad for Rubio.If Rubio Falters in New Hampshire, Things Could Get Weird For Republicans
Life might get a lot easier for Trump and Cruz, and bring the Establishment nightmare to life.Readers: Do You Fantasize About Your Neighbors?
We want to hear about it.Hillary Clinton Is Still a Revolutionary Candidate, Even If Her Surrogates Keep Screwing Up Her Message
She's been needlessly thrown into a thicket of generational and gender politics.Myanmar Might Get a Woman President Before the United States Does
If the birthers don't get to her.