Bravo Takes Gossip Girl–Knockoff Reality Show a Step Too Far

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Boys, from left: Sebastian, PC. Girls, from left: Camille, Jessica, Kelli, Taylor. Photo: Courtesy of Bravo

We've been waiting for Bravo's reality show NYC Prep with a mixture of excitement and trepidation. On the one hand, we can't wait to see what the network comes up with, because even if it's fake, juvenile, and/or revolting, it will probably be insanely watchable. On the other, how do we write about it? Even though it is plainly a Gossip Girl ripoff (way to drop the ball on that, CW), these are ostensibly real children, and therefore we can't shred them to pieces the way we do Dan, Serena, Vanessa, and Jenny. Well, we can, but we run the risk of actually running into these people at some point — or worse, their parents. But it's going to be tempting, because instead of writing about fictional surrogates of the people who tortured us in high school, we'd be writing about very real versions.

But our enthusiasm turned sour when we read the cast bios today on the Bravo website. Turns out NYC Prep doesn't just rip off the spirit and setting of Gossip Girl: it rips off the characters, too!

Witness:

Sebastian: "Sebastian is known among his circle of friends as the guy who constantly hooks up with the hottest girls — either in the City or at his place in the Hamptons. As a native French speaker, girls swoon at his surfer good looks and impeccable accent. Sebastian regularly hits up the town with wingman and best bud Gabe. Sebastian's hobbies, aside from girls, are soccer, tennis and debate tournaments." Okay, take out the "surfer" and "debate team" bit, and you've got Chuck Bass.

Taylor: "Taylor is a 15-year-old sophomore who bounces between her public school entourage and the fast-paced, wealthy Upper East Siders whose parties she has no qualms crashing. She openly jokes about her hopes to score a rich husband someday." This part of Taylor is the Jenny Humphrey part. And this part, "Taylor has an active interest in politics and has been known to frequent a student demonstration or two in Union Square," is pure Vanessa Abrams.

Camille: "She's constantly on the lookout for a boyfriend, but no one seems to meet her impossibly high standards, despite the bevy of suitors knocking on her door. Camille thrives on high school drama and can often be found playing peacemaker, brokering a classic junior vs. sophomore high school feud, or saving a naïve freshman from social suicide." This makes her sound like Serena van der Woodsen, but then again, there's also a part that says she is "always armed with acid-tongued opinions and witty retorts."

Jessica: "Jessica always gets what she wants — in the case of her final year of high school, this means she's anxious to get accepted by FIT, a top-tier college program to pursue her passion for all things fashion. To bolster her college application, she interviews for cutthroat fashion internships with top designers in New York. Always a leader among her friends, Jessie likes to throw parties for fun, as well as for good causes." Man, we pity the girl that has to fit into Blair Waldorf's headbands.

NYC Prep Bios [BravoTV]