As the scandal surrounding former state comptroller Alan Hevesi’s aides continues to unspool, the New York Times reveals that private-equity powerhouse the Quadrangle Group has been accused by the SEC of paying state officials for the right to manage massive state pension funds. Quadrangle was founded by Obama’s new car czar, Steven Rattner, who is implicated in the complaint as an unnamed executive who set up the deals. It was Rattner, according to a source, who met with Hevesi helpers Hank Morris and David Loglisci, and passed along the more than $1 million in graft. Morris, a Hevesi consultant, received the bulk of the funds through a securities firm that keeps him on contract, but Loglisci, who runs the massive pension fund, received a much more creative reward.
From the Times:
The executive also met with Mr. Loglisci about a low-budget movie Mr. Loglisci was producing, “Chooch.” Soon afterward, GT Brands Holdings, a company owned by one of Quadrangle’s private equity funds, made a deal to acquire the DVD distribution rights to “Chooch,” an agreement that made the film’s producers nearly $90,000.
Of course, we looked up this Chooch film. According to IMDb, it’s about Queens resident Dino “Chooch” Condito, who is depressed about a softball game. His friends cash in their communion money to take him to Cancun to cheer him up. One mysterious bag of money, jail bust, donkey ride, chicken-coop explosion, beloved pet dachshund, and life-changing love affair at the local bordello later, Chooch discovers the meaning of family, friendship, and neighborhood. If only these shady financiers had watched this movie and learned its myriad lessons, we bet they wouldn’t be in this mess.