New N.Y. Minor-League Soccer Team Missing a Huge Opportunity


With the Yankees charging a couple thousand for tickets, we like the idea of minor-league sports coming to our big-league town. So consider us instant supporters of the brand-new FC New York, which will play in the United Soccer League (one rung below Major League Soccer) and make their home initially at Hofstra University. (We also support the ongoing efforts to bring an NBA D-League franchise to Harlem.) However, we have one gripe about the new team — what’s with the lame name?

Yeah, we get it, you’re trying to be all traditional, like FC Milan FC Barcelona or whatever. (FC specifically, of course, stands for football club, which is nonsensical in this country where football is a different game.) But come on, this is a huge missed opportunity. Here are a few names we would prefer. Feel free, readers, to add your own.

1. The New York Insomniacs
2. The Spike-Heels
3. The Rich-Hunters
4. The Yoga Bullies
5. The Sandhogs
6. The Escapees
7. The Vultures
8. The Credit Default Swappers
9. The Meatpackers
10. The Killer Rats
11. The Third Railers
12. The Sewer Alligators
13. The Cutbacks
14. The Bloombergers
15. The Fighting Grannies