Not Everyone Attesting to Madge’s Motherhood Skills

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She looks pretty capable to us. Photo: Getty Images

Madonna's former private chef says she's a bad mom who works out all day and only spends 30 minutes with her kids. But her trainer Tracy Anderson says she's fully recovered from her fall off a horse this weekend. Eliot Spitzer awkwardly took his kids to see State of Play, which involves a press conference about a politician's affair much like the one he went through. Julie Chen is expecting her first baby with husband Les Moonves. Kelly Killoren Bensimon would only pose for pictures with Simon van Kempen and Alex McCord if photographers said they wouldn't run anywhere.

Lindsay Lohan thinks her theater career will be jump-started if she appears in a burlesque show. Socialite Nicole Ross has been institutionalized for anxiety, possibly relating to the 1992 death of her father. Kathy Griffin says she is the "Susan Boyle of bikini bodies." David Blaine is going to marry a gorgeous French model. We're glad he's finally back to performing actual magic tricks. "Gatecrasher" thinks Jared Leto was cuter before he was a rocker, when he starred on My So-Called Life.

Michelle Rodriguez flipped out at her manager's wedding and pushed guests into the pool. Daily News restaurant critic Danyelle Freeman, who never gives anything other than two or three stars, has no sense of humor. Lauren Conrad hired an acting coach to prepare her for her role on Family Guy, which is a cartoon. In exchange for a large donation to charity, you can earn the right to have lunch with Star Jones and Rosie O'Donnell together. We cannot wait to see who lines up for that auction item. Ann Dexter Jones says her daughter Samantha Ronson is happy despite her tumultuous breakup with Lindsay Lohan. According to Cindy Adams, Archbishop Timothy Dolan likes biking and walking around with a stick.