‘Bernie Was Irresistible to Women,’ Says Former Secretary

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Bernie Madoff's former secretary Eleanor Squillari is the kind of woman our grandmother would refer to as a "hot ticket," and she had no problem sitting down and frankly describing her boss's lascivious behavior to dignified Vanity Fair scribe Mark Seal.

"Sometimes when he came out of his bathroom, which was diagonal to my desk, he would still be zipping up his pants," she said. "If he saw me shaking my head disapprovingly, he would say, ‘Oh, you know it excites you.’ If a pretty young woman came in, he’d say, ‘Do you remember when you used to look like that?’ I’d tell him, ‘Knock it off, Bernie,’ and he’d go, ‘Ah, you still look good.’ Then he’d try to pat me on the ass.”


He was also into massages, Eleanor said, meaningfully. "Once, I looked in his address book and found, under M, about a dozen phone numbers for his masseuses," Squillari tells Vanity Fair, adding that she told her boss, "If you ever lose your address book and somebody finds it, they’re going to think you’re a pervert.’”

Ha, we know who the pervert is here, and it's not Bernie.

It's Eleanor. Dude was running a $65 billion Ponzi scheme! He probably had some tension in his neck and needed to get the kinks worked out! And he probably diversified his masseuses so no one could tell how stressed out he was. He wasn't getting handjobs. Right? Please tell us he wasn't. Because we really don't want to think about that anymore.

Bernie Madoff's Secretary Spills His Secrets [VF]