Breaking: Teenagers Enjoy Pressing Their Bodies Against One Another


Hugging is the new teenage fad! Everyone is doing it, even boys! So says the Times, which busts this trend wide open on page one. It’s like it came out of nowhere: “Hugging appears to be a grass-roots phenomenon and not an imitation of a character or custom on TV or in movies,” the paper gravely observes. Adults are very disturbed, and a principal in New Jersey actually banned hugging. “Touching and physical contact is very dangerous territory,” said principal tells the paper. Idea! Since Chace Crawford doesn’t dance, why don’t the producers make the new Footloose about hugging? It could be called Armsloose, and it would be two hours straight of Chace embracing one member of young Hollywood after another. We’d buy tickets! Or at least, you know, Netflix it and watch it in the privacy of our own homes.

For Teenagers, Hello Means ‘How About a Hug?’ [NYT]
Related: The Cuddle Puddle of Stuyvesant High School [NYM]