During today’s much-anticipated episode of Oprah, the talk-show host asked a lot of painful questions to Elizabeth Edwards regarding her former-presidential-candidate husband’s affair with filmmaker Rielle Hunter. But Edwards said that she was trying not to let the fling take over her life. “I don’t want it to define our marriage, 30 years before this and I don’t know how many after,” she said, casually referencing her terminal cancer (which she says does not give her too much discomfort). “My life was going to be less long and I didn’t want to spend it fighting.” As to whether Rielle Hunter’s baby, whom John has visited, was his child, Elizabeth said she didn’t know, and it didn’t matter. “I can’t come up with a reason [why it would], except that I care about something completely extraneous to my life,” she said. “If they discovered one day that it was, that would be part of John’s life, not mine.” Edwards also said that she blames John for the infidelity, but that “there’s no excuse for women to do this.” “You have to have enough respect for human beings to leave their lives alone,” she said of Hunter, who she only met once, in passing. “Don’t just come in and try to take somebody else’s life.” To that effect, she asked Oprah not to mention the woman’s name. “If somebody wants to stand in the light that shines on John, that’s one thing,” she said. “If they want to destroy my family in order to stand in that light, that’s another.” Then, Oprah wandered through the giant family mansion and found the former senator himself, and it got really awkward.