Janeane Garofalo Has Multiple Mr. Darcy’s Over Her Sofa

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Photo: Getty Images

Name: Janeane Garofalo
Age: 44
Neighborhood: Greenwich Village
Occupation: Actor, comic. Hosting Comedy Below Canal this Thursday at the 92Y Tribeca.

Who's your favorite New Yorker, living or dead, real or fictional?
Oh my, Emma Goldman, did she do time here? I feel like I walked past a plaque on a building that said “Emma Goldman Was Here.” I’ll say Emma Goldman or Margaret Sanger.

What's the best meal you've eaten in New York?
The white hot chocolate at MarieBelle.

In one sentence, what do you actually do all day in your job?
I’m a walker. I enjoy walking, which I think psychologically expresses my feelings of wanting liberation without exerting myself too much. I walk a lot, I smoke too much … I’m not a disciplined writer. For my stand-up, I always have my notebook with me and if something strikes me, I’ll write it down.

Would you still live here on a $35,000 salary?
I don’t know. I’ve never had to, so I can’t honestly answer that question.

What's the last thing you saw on Broadway?
I think it was … oh my goodness. It might have been Craig Bierko in that thing he did where Harry Connick Jr. did the music. I haven’t seen a lot of Broadway shows, per se. I’ve seen Craig Bierko because he’s a friend of mine and I like to see him. As you can tell, I have early Alzheimer’s. I can’t remember a thing by its name.

Do you give money to panhandlers?
Sometimes, yes.

What's your drink?
Besides white chocolate? Well, I’m sober now, so it’s a mixture of Sugar-Free Red Bull and Diet Sunkist orange soda.

How often do you prepare your own meals?
Rarely. I mostly get takeout, I have to admit — I don’t know if that’s something to be ashamed of. I’m not much of a cook. If you’re talking about stuff like cereal, then all the time. I also make organic macaroni and cheese with cut-up fake sausage, but I don’t know if that’s considered preparing a meal.

What's your favorite medication?
Right now, I guess Lyrica. I was put on it for my back problems and my joint-pain problems, and I think it’s also given to people as an anti-depressant.

What's hanging above your sofa?
Some photos of my dog and some photos of Mr. Darcy from both Pride and Prejudices: the Colin Firth Mr. Darcy and the Matthew Macfadyen Mr. Darcy.

How much is too much to spend on a haircut?
I’d say anything over $200.

When's bedtime?
That varies, but if I don’t have to get up in the morning, probably anywhere between 2 a.m. and 5 a.m.

Which do you prefer, the old Times Square or the new Times Square?
A little bit of both. I remember the old Times Square from when I was younger, and there was a seedy thrill to it. Some of that is gone, which I have a little bit of nostalgia for. But the new Times Square, I understand why people are glad they can walk their families through it safely. I like that about it. I’m not one of those people that’s glib about the old seedy crime days. I don’t see that there was so much of a value, but there was a bit more character to it, if you will. So I’m a split decision.

What do you think of Donald Trump?
I think I don’t understand him.

What do you hate most about living in New York?
Nothing.

Who is your mortal enemy?
I have a handful of them. I guess intractable right-wing ideologues are my mortal enemy.

When's the last time you drove a car?
Yesterday. I’m in L.A. right now, so I rent a car when I come here.

How has the Wall Street crash affected you?
Like many people, it’s taken money out of investments I had.

Times, Post, or Daily News?
The New York Times.

Where do you go to be alone?
My apartment, mostly.

What makes someone a New Yorker?
The feeling that you couldn’t live anywhere else.