So many people are dying to unload on Bernie Madoff at his sentencing — which is really the only chance victims have to address him face to smirking face before he goes to prison forever — that judge Denny Chin has had to postpone it for two more weeks. In the meantime, he's asked people to e-mail the United States Attorney’s office explaining why they want to address Bernie, ostensibly to separate the weepers, screamers, and "here's what I'd like to do to your balls" types from concise, articulate people. Life: It's all a contest. The Times has details on where to send said essays, but those who are rejected, or who aren't victims but feel like giving Bernie a piece of their mind anyway, can feel free to send their statements — spell-checked, double-spaced, no more than 500 words, and preferably with a rendering of Tippy the Turtle — to intel [at] nymag.com for possible publication or the editors' reading pleasure, whichever we capriciously decide in the heat of the moment.
Madoff Sentencing Is Postponed [DealBook/NYT]