Man Drives Into Gowanus Canal

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Photo: Pardon Me for Asking

Details about the incident are surprisingly sketchy given how perfectly this event would seem to lend itself to a tabloid cover, but apparently a man drove his car into the comically polluted Gowanus Canal at around 11 p.m. on Friday; both he and the car were subsequently removed only slightly the worse for wear. Will the toxic waste and whatnot turn him into a Gowanus superhero? [Pardon Me for Asking]