Lindsay Lohan’s Exes Now Won’t Even Claim Her

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Scariest. Muppet. Ever. Photo: Getty Images

Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin are renting an eight-bedroom $28.5 million estate in L.A.’s Mandeville Canyon for the summer, while Paltrow shoots Iron Man 2. As a “recession-busting mark of gratitude,” Coldplay is giving all fans attending their North America "Viva La Vida" tour a free live album. Lindsay Lohan’s such a train wreck these days that her former flames are embarrassed to say they dated her. Hard Rock Café heir Harry Morton first denied their three-year-old fling (during which he purchased an engagement ring), claiming, “I didn’t really date her … I really didn’t,” then owned up to it, but added, “I don’t want to be known for that. No way.”

Animal House director John Landis stuck his tongue out at Rush Limbaugh when he graded President Obama with “barely a D” at Michael Milken’s annual Beverly Hills conference. Meanwhile White House Social secretary Desirée Rogers tells WSJ. magazine that “We have the best brand on earth: the Obama brand … Our possibilities are endless.” Bunny Ranch pimp Dennis Hof is offering ex–Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich an apprenticeship on his HBO show Cathouse, where he would “assist with hiring ladies” and facilitate “training and proper disciplinary action.” Andy Garcia steered clear of the set of his upcoming film, City Island, while his daughter (who plays his daughter in the movie) shot stripper scenes. Britney Spears asked that a stripper pole be installed in her hotel room at London’s posh Dorchester, claiming that it’s her “new favorite workout.”

Aerin Lauder and Elizabeth Hurley went on a double date with their husbands at Graydon Carter’s Monkey Bar. Rihanna and Jay-Z caught up over maki at L.A.’s Katsuya. Rachel Zoe booked her husband a coach seat on her United flight from L.A. to N.Y., while she chilled out in first. Mel Gibson’s ex-mistress, comedian Diana Alouise, wants to team up with his soon-to-be ex-wife in their divorce battle. Marc Jacobs admits to helping Jesus Luz stay in the States, all for the sake of Madge’s happiness. Faye Dunaway sported plastic gloves and a germ-catching face mask while she worked out at Gold’s Gym in Hollywood. Jill Zarin returned a borrowed dress from Intermix with a huge stain on the front, and Kelly Killoren Bensimon, who’s celebrating her 41st at the Gates tonight, has been bragging to everyone about her Columbia education, leaving out the fact that she only attended the extension college.

Rocking an undershirt and scruffy beard, a “cocky”Adrien Brody kept shooing people away as he worked the red carpet at Matthew Williamson’s H&M event. Hugh Jackman dropped $4,308.87 on breakfast for 800 fans who waited outside a Tempe, Arizona, movie theater the night before his X-Men premiere. Evander Holyfield re-watched his ear-nibbling at a screening of Tyson in Harlem’s Magic Johnson Theaters. Andy Samberg once found 5,000 extra bucks in his bank account, never told the bank, and used the free cash to fund some short films. Portfolio's now out-of-work editor-in-chief, Joanne Lipman, doesn’t read Gawker, noting that it's "kind of like Twitter: a time suck and mostly useless."