Hundreds of kindergartners, along with their adult minders, are expected to protest at City Hall next Wednesday over the fact that there aren't enough spaces in the city's strongest public schools to accommodate all of them. See, with the economic downturn, droves of upper and middle-class parents are opting against the city's tony private schools, choosing instead to enroll their kids in public school until the recession ends, after which they'll send them off to boarding school in ninth grade to save their chances at getting into an Ivy League school, because if they stay in public school but don't get into Stuyvesant, Bronx Science, or Brooklyn Tech they won't, and then their lives will basically be over. (When we typed that out we meant it as a joke, but we're not entirely sure it's not true, too.) The surge in applicants to plain old neighborhood public schools has resulted in kindergarten waiting lists, which are usually only things that happen at the kind of institutions where everyone has to wear a uniform and has a classmate named Vivian. This, of course, is making Manhattan parents crazy, because what's the point of living in the West Village if you have to send your kids to the East Village for school? (Or worse ... shudder ... Noho.) Anyway, if you're mad about this, too, you should go protest the mayor, who still has control of the city's schools. Say hi to Vivian for us — though we hear she goes by Vicki now.
Most Viewed Stories
Bernie Sanders’s ‘Scorched Earth’ Strategy Seems to Be Working
The Good News Is That Donald Trump’s Campaign Is an Absolute Strategic and Managerial Garbage Fire
Being Married for Decades Means That Your Bodies Become Biologically Alike
X-Men: Apocalypse’s Post-Credits Scene, Explained
What to Remember for the Second Half of Game of Thrones Season 6
9 Movies to See (or Not) This Memorial Day Weekend
Report: Amber Heard Made Earlier Domestic Abuse Claim Against Johnny Depp
Art Garfunkel Was Perhaps the Worst Hamilton Spectator of All Time
America Has Never Been So Ripe for Tyranny
How Old Is Everyone Supposed to Be in X-Men: Apocalypse?
Latest News from Daily IntelligencerReport: Trump Campaign Low on Funds Until GOP Foots the Bill
They may not be able to run TV ads responding to Democratic attacks until the end of July.Trump Backs out of Debate With Bernie Sanders Because Its 'Inappropriate' to Debate Losers
It either took four tries for Trump to make up his mind, or he's been punking Sanders all along.World War II Fighter Plane Crashes Into Hudson River, Killing Pilot
The vintage P-47 Thunderbolt was flying between Manhattan and New Jersey as part of a promotional photo shoot.Bernie and Hillary Are Ending California's Candidate Drought
In some rare attention for the state, Sanders is focusing on areas hit by the housing crisis, while Clinton campaigns to hold the line.The Wall Street Journal Staff Told to Be ‘Fair’ to Mendacious Demagogue Because ‘Serious People’ Support Him
What is the "fair" way for a journalist to treat a politician who displays an open contempt for the truth?The Good News Is That Donald Trump’s Campaign Is an Absolute Strategic and Managerial Garbage Fire
Maniac who can't be trusted to run the presidency fortunately also can't be trusted to run a campaign.Marco Rubio Flips, Then Flops, Then Flips Again
Rubio's circuitous path continues with sudden enthusiasm for Trump and maybe a reconsideration of his retirement from the Senate.96-Year-Old Dr. Heimlich Put His Maneuver to Use on a Fellow Resident at His Retirement Home
His 87-year-old table mate at dinner choked on a piece of hamburger.Hot, Humid, and Pop-up Showers: Here’s What Your Memorial Day Weekend Weather Will Be Like
And just like that, it's time to turn on the AC.In Hiroshima, President Obama Calls for ‘Moral Revolution’ to End Threat of Nuclear War
During his historic visit, Obama met with survivors and called on mankind to get its moral progress in line with its technological prowess.
America's least favorite hedge-fund hipster endorses the Donald, weaponizing his unpopularity in the fight against fascism.Bernie Sanders’s ‘Scorched Earth’ Strategy Seems to Be Working
The socialist senator is driving up Clinton’s disapproval rating with his supporters – and winning concessions to the party’s left flank in the process.Teacher Unions Still Haven’t Forgiven Michelle Rhee, Don’t Care How Well Her Policies Work
Anybody want to know the education bogeywoman actually helped students?Fresh Intelligence: New Superbug Could Spell End of Humanity, But So Could Trump’s Nomination
Our roundup of the stories, ideas, and memes you’ll be talking about today.Marco Rubio Will Support Trump Because Anyone Is Better Than Hillary Clinton
The Republican nominee's once-promising challenger says he wants to "be helpful."Distress Signals Narrow Search for Missing EgyptAir Flight
Airbus detected a distress signal from the plane's emergency-locator transmitter.Baylor Demotes University President, Fires Coach for Mishandling Rape Claims
Athletics staff "improperly discredited" rape victims and "denied them a right to a fair investigation."Donald Trump Promises to ‘Cancel’ Paris Climate Deal
In a rare pre-written speech on energy policy, Trump argued that coal doesn't need to be regulated and that wind turbines are "killing all the eagles."No, It’s Not Just a Nightmare: Trump Officially Clinches Nomination!
After all the sound and fury, Trump clinches the nomination without fanfare with a few formerly uncommitted delegates.The Big, Big Problem With How the Hillary Clinton Email Scandal Is Being Covered
We all know it's distracting voters from the issues. But is that actually true?