Self-Identifying Hipsters Wanted for Reality-TV Show

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Photo: istockphoto

This ad for a Major Network Reality TV Show About Life in Williamsburg spotted by Curbed broke our minds a little:


Did you wake up today around 1:30 EST in your industrial loft, pull on your favorite (and only) pair of cutoff jean shorts, and take a leisurely stroll down Bedford Avenue in search of organic green juice and the new DFA on vinyl? Do you tap the family trust fund every time you need to make rent? (or do you have to fix bikes for a living?) Does your tattoo have a story to tell? Do you jam with a hardcore band on the weekends and DJ on the weeknights? Are you cooking tofu right now for you and your seven roommates? Do you barely make it into Manhattan three days a week for "college"? Is that handlebar mustache merely for comedic effect?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Ok no, we're all right. Really we're fine.

Do you consider 25 "old age"? Do you idolize Dan Deacon? Do you fold clothes at American Apparel? Are you SO not worried about getting swine flu 'cause that shit only happens to poor people? Were you recently the victim of the Hipster Grifter? Or even better, are you THE Hipster Grifter? And most importantly, what are you going to do this summer now that the McCarren Pool Parties are over???!!! If you live in Williamsburg, are between the ages of 18-25, and are cool with opening your doors to a camera crew (your seven roommates will have to be cool with it too), please send us the following:

• Photo of yourself
• Five things that make you a hipster.
• A short description of yourself and why you want to be on the show.

This is not a competition or game show, and you will not be required to live on an island or eat worms. There is, however, a cash guarantee involved for the chosen ones.

On the one hand, it could be fake. Which would mean it was a, like, ironic kind of joke, we think? But clearly, this was written by people who know this lifestyle intimately, or enough to make fun of it in detail (people who are not hipsters probably don't know what DFA or Dan Deacon is, or at least we don't, can't Google, sorry), which indicates that they are hipsters at least by association, which would mean this ad was written by hipsters to make fun of hipsters, which is essentially like looking into a mirror and laughing at yourself. Which a hipster type would actually probably do because it's like irony cubed, in fact that sort of thing is all the rage right now in those circles, as we understand it. But then again, how could a hipster make a joke making fun of hipsters when there actually aren't any hipsters, not only because, as Curbed pointed out, they all moved away from Williamsburg in like 2006, but because no one actually admits to being a hipster, ever? If they do, we are pretty sure that means they are not a hipster. Unless they're saying it ironically, in which case, they are. Anyway, this whole thing is out of hand. We feel like we're in the Matrix every time we get on the L. That said, we'd totally watch this show.

The Williamsburg Casting Call You Knew Would Come [Curbed]