Just over a year ago, police on Staten Island busted an Albanian robbery clan believed to be responsible for a string of nearly twenty nonviolent but armed robberies. The trio was known to wear black outfits and face masks and carry nunchakus as they stealthily invaded homes in the upscale Todt Hill and Grymes Hill neighborhoods. Once the group was deported, it was thought that the ninja robberies were over for good. But not so! The Staten Island Advance reported this morning that Russ and Delores Irary spotted another ninja burglar at work — in their own home:
Alerted by the incessant growling of their pint-sized "hero" pooch, the Emerson Hill couple said they came face to face with a black-suited crook Monday night, who escaped from their mansion by leaping from a second-story balcony and exiting the back door without missing a beat. "He was a ninja in a black suit, only his eyes were showing," said Russ Irarey, 55. "He got to that railing and just made a jump like you wouldn't believe." The masked and gloved burglar was clad head to toe in black. After vaulting a banister and clearing a flight of stairs, the thief darted through the kitchen and out a sliding door — even taking care to close it behind him.
This story, of course, is leaving out a crucial point: what kind of small dog it was that scared the ninja away. If it was a dark-colored dog, it was probably a regular burglar. But if it was a white-colored, fluffy one like a Bichon, then that's a different story. Everyone knows that small white animals terrify ninjas. Or, wait. Is that mummies? We forget.