As you may know, we have our problems with Canadian geese. What they did to Flight 1549, and many other planes, was inexcusable, immoral, and just plain disgusting, really. But we at Intel do not condone murder. Which is why we were horrified to read in the Post just now that the city plans to "trap and kill up to 2,000 Canada geese this summer, in a bid to avoid the type of collision that caused a US Airways plane to ditch in the Hudson River earlier this year."
This can't possibly be true, we thought, as we scanned the story. These are not the actions of a civilized society. Once the authorities catch wind of this, surely they will put a stop to it. Then we got to this part:
"The serious dangers that Canada geese pose to aviation became all too clear when geese struck US Airways Flight 1549," said Mayor Bloomberg.
He said the incident "served as a catalyst to strengthen our efforts in removing geese from, and discouraging them from nesting on, City property near our runways."
Yes. Not only is our own government attacking the geese without even trying to negotiate (have you seen any evidence of meetings? We haven't), they are not even planning on fighting them face to beak! Instead, they are plotting a sneak attack.
According to the Post:
The roundup is being timed with the molting season, when the geese can't fly. It is scheduled to begin within a week.
They are literally sitting ducks! (Geese are the same as ducks, pretty much, right? Anyway.) This is just disgusting. A display of the kind of Bush-era tactics we thought we left behind at the start of 2009. Something must be done. And so we at Intel would like to be the first to say, to the geese out there who are reading: The birds of the future will judge you on the strength of the nests you build, not the planes you destroy. And we will extend a hand, if you are willing to unclench your tiny claws.